Numbnuts On Parade! Yeee-Haaaa!
Hey! It’s time once again - after far too long - for another episode of that famous A&A game: Spot The Aardvark And The Asshat!
Now, the rules are simple: Identify - via comment - which is which from the following four photographs and descriptions:
Here’s the first photo, which we will call … wait for it … ONE!
Next we have this delightful fella - whom we will call … TWO!
For our THIRD photo - we offer this guy:
Our FOURTH contestant is this surly and unsavory character:
Now the descriptions are as follows:
1) This guy has never succeeded in anything he’s attempted since being placed in a position of federal power and authority early last year (2007). He’s considered a complete dickhead by all who know him and most people who - while complete strangers to him - have seen his mug on TV.
2) This critter lives in forests and lightly wooded plains here and there - and is harmless to beavers.
3) This asshole was caught - pants down, In Flagrante Delicti (or whatever) - father-raping a young sheep he became - um, fond - of. The two mistakes he made were x) he porked the fuzzy critter in his neighbors barn, and y)He held the position of firechief or sheriff of said locale, so he was not “forgiven”, and z) I can’t count.
4) This doofus - after having charges of sexually assaulting three girls filed against him - racked up additional charges of animal cruelty after it was found he’d been heffer-fucking the local cattle herd. Beef-banging, as it were. Four counts. And without protection, the sinner!
Now - which photo goes with which description? no peeking!
Here’s some smut!
Update: I had to add this photo of the blushing bride to go with (3):
And then there’s this photo of the Newly-Wed Suite of the local Holiday Inn:
Tags: Pervs
April 23, 2008 at 9:29 pm
McGoo, as beautiful as the bride is, (I think I met her in a Ramada inn bar once, but “what happens at the Ramada, stays at the Ramada”
I know that contestant number two is the Aardvark, the rest are all asshats, especially contestant number 4.
April 23, 2008 at 9:29 pm
P.S. Thanks for the smut!
April 23, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Old Guy! Long time…
Yeah, as long as one can distinguish the aardvark from the scum, it really doesn’t matter.
Although having Harry Reid amongst those pervs must be embarrassing…..to the pervs. Even pervs have some standards.
I’ve had that first photo for years. I kept it because the look on the lamb-fuckers face is so perfect: he seems to be thinking, “I am so fucked! I am never going to live this down! No one will EVER forget this!”
April 23, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I think perhaps even more embarrassing, even though we’ll never get to go “nyah nyah nyah” to is the incident is this douchebag:
http://www.pet-abuse.com/cases/5034
Unfortunately it is his family who has to try to erase all memory or trace of his existence by whatever means possible. Of course we can’t forget about the poor buggered animal who is left thinking “What? Huh? What did I do to deserve THIS?”
Is there anyone making the case for this to be a genetic predisposition, that they can’t help what they are?
(yeah, that first photo is a winner, isn’t it?)
April 24, 2008 at 12:22 am
I don’t have a clue whether bestiality has been determined to be genetic, cultural, family/home environment, or just plain screwed-up sex drive.
But its weird - thats for sure.
April 25, 2008 at 3:19 am
I just never understood how someone can look over at a sheep / cow and have the words “that is SEX-AY” run through their head, but there is worse out there.
Google image searching “adult baby” or “men in diapers” returns some disturbing material. I was doing research on a post and used these terms unknowingly, and had to spend the next hour drinking heavily and watching Cartoon Network to purge the garbage from my mind.
April 25, 2008 at 6:13 am
I’ve caught glimpses of that men in diapers stuff. Perverse, for sure.
But sexual dysfunction is not just a human oddity. I’m sure you’ve seen photos of animals getting “confused” as to what/who is an appropriate mating partner, and even insects are known to get quite mixed up. As a matter of fact, I believe there is no basic “perversion” humans indulge in that hasn’t got examples in the animal world. Not sure, though.
So ya have to figure its some kind of basic (and not uncommon) wiring screwup in the brain/hormone system.
April 25, 2008 at 11:00 am
Possibly. Could be some kind of sociological influence that re-routes their subconscious genetic urge to reproduce, and allows their sex drive to find materials not suited for reproduction (i.e. a cabbage) being able to fulfill that requirement. Basically for some screwed up reason (unknown to me, I like-y women) these deviances occur because something has affected said person’s sense of what could create a viable reproductive cycle, and thus creates attraction in instances that just won’t work as to the true purpose of sex.
…But therein lies the issue and signifigant difference between us and the various animals that reflect said “perversions”; we are aware of what we are doing on more than just an instinctual level, we know how physically that action is supposed to go, so any deviance from this fairly standardized process creates the label of “perversion”.
-Animals do it unknowingly. We know what we are doing. That an sheep have bony asses.
April 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Sheep have boney ases? Good to know.
Um…how ’bout Llamas?