Prostituting Myself - For A Good Cause!
Check this out!
Uh-huh! Oh, yeah!
Did it make your pulse quicken? C’mon! Be honest - did you take one friggin’ look at that graphic and think, “Oh! Boy! Holy Shit! Hot diggity damn!”?
How ’bout this one?
How’s your respiration rate now? Up a bit? Aw! - Your ass! - You know you’re breathin’ like you just ran the 2-minute mile! That up there is a classic! The best one.
Tell me true, reader - Is your butt now scooched up to the edge of your seat? Are you hunched over your keyboard close to the monitor - that wonderful technological marvel that will - you fervently hope - once again deliver you from your hum-drum existance to a world of darkness, of eerie journeys and rotund uniformed diners, of Goths …and toes.
A world where there are Waitresses That Know?
Did a fine sheen of perspiration drooble out of your skin pores just now?
Look at this:
Is the ol’ pump thumpin’ good ‘n hard now? Are you excited?
And this? What does this do to your libido?
Are you sitting there in anticipatory delight - relishing another outstanding wee-hour adventure with - harrumph! - moi?
Gettin’ a li’l intellectual wood yet? Like Pavlov’s puppies - are you salivating bodily fluids yet?
Well, suffer.
Ya see, it can’t possibly happen unless the Stashiu fund grows a bit more.
Round numbers are good. I’d like to see a nice, round number in that Amazon thingy. I like lots of trailing zeros.
As the immortal Bard once said, “It’s just wafer-thin.” No, wait…
Oh! I can promise you a Triumph Deluxe - should I be - er, shall we say - persuaded - to once again don my Fucking-with-Goths attire and accessories (I got a new set of table-teeth from Texas!) and and once again Count Toe so-to-speak amongst the heathen.
It’s up to you, gentle reader. It’s all up to you. All you have to do is go here, and hit the li’l bitty Amazon thingy over there to the right.
Hit it like you’d hit a Goth! Smack the crap outa it.
You know you will. It is your destiny.
Ooooh! There’s a bonus, too.
Heh.
C’mere.
Closer.
Now just click on this.
Tags: Escudo
May 2, 2008 at 6:08 pm
McGoo, I done gave all I could, so… can you bring it home? I was like, all emotionally erect.
But no. Now, I sit here, all salivated out, all pumped out, with a rapid and weak pulse.
Did my eyes deceive me? Did you, McGoo, just post… post… POST A GOTH IN LINGERIE???
Oh. MY. GOD.
Cute for a Goth, but still.
May 2, 2008 at 6:23 pm
McGoo, you’re the best, and that was funny.
May 2, 2008 at 6:27 pm
If she’s Goth, then I’m switching sides.
I’m trying to squeeze that last itty-bitty bit of escudos from the moronosphere.
Because I can, by gum.
May 2, 2008 at 6:36 pm
It was the dark eyeshadow. Perhaps a touch of nihilistic gleam in her eye.
And I don’t think wrong of you at all. Stashiu is good people, he’s served our country, and there’s some little girls that need him. That says it all.
May 2, 2008 at 6:39 pm
DPUD - just doin’ my part!
I figure if the Stashiu stats improve at all, I can use it as an excuse to violate my sugar-discipline, go to Denny’s at 2AM, and crush Goth toe with impunity!
And if my blood sugar goes a bit high, well then fuck it. I’ll live!
I wanna try my table-teeth out on Goths!
May 2, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Yep, LK. That combo of ’served country’ plus ‘adopted kids’ is mighty potent.
Far as I’m concerned, anyone who has stood a watch to keep me safe can have some ‘o my wallet whenever they fuckin’ need it.
I spent most of my career in Mil-Aerospace engineering, loved every minute of it, and made damned good money at it. Without them guys and gals standing that watch, I wouldn’t have my wallet, or its contents.
Daddy didn’t raise no ingrate.
May 3, 2008 at 1:40 am
From what I have been seeing Stashiu is doing pretty good in the cash department at something like 1500 and counting for his legal fund. I really hope that the adoption issues clear up soon.
Oh, and I worked military contracts. It enriched the old wallet as well, so I consider my donations and that of my other guys as just giving something back.
May 3, 2008 at 4:19 am
You’re a good man, Iron!
May 3, 2008 at 6:48 am
I always like to get into arguments while I was in that line of work. I heard them all, about how I was a tool of the government and that I was taking ___ type of money that could have been put to better use elsewhere. I would just say that the contracts were approved, the money was there, and if I didn’t work the job someone else would.
this was also usually followed with a quick haymaker to their face, but I digress…
May 3, 2008 at 7:17 am
I usually ‘kept my own council’ is such situations with idiots, while mentally thinking, “I’m crying all the way to the bank, you numbnut!”
May 3, 2008 at 9:30 am
McGoo, it’s not good to wake up on a Saturday and start off by choking on laughter. Now that I’ve got my breath back, that’s some funny stuff! It looks like I’m going to have to devote some time to finding your previous adventures in the archives. I have a few “Denny’s stories” from when I was a student nurse because we would do group study there, but I suspect we were neophytes compared to you.
Thanks for the extra post. Right now it’s like over 10% of our legal bills just disappeared, which is fantastic!! All due to people
prostitutinggiving their time and money to help out. Thank you again Sir.May 3, 2008 at 10:28 am
You’re welcome, Stashiu!
May 3, 2008 at 10:38 am
Sweet! Good to know that some good came out of this for you Stashiu.