This is a serious hunk of information I’m gonna drop on ya!
Yeah - I know - that graphic looks like a zodiac thingy. That thing in the upper left does look a lot like Sphinctorcoccus, the Critter - astrological sign for February 28th thru 31st. But it’s not. This graphic is a food matrix - or ecosystem, as the article likes to call it. Read the whole thing for a nourishing intellectual treat! Brought to you by Science Daily - where the journalists eat their young.
Now for modern folks, like me and - well - me, here is an image of modern food:
What is amazing about this tasty treat is that it weighs 3/4 of a pound, but will cause a 5-pound weight gain just by slobbering over the image. I’m getting a sugar high just from looking at it.
Here is some more food:
You’ll be relieved to know it’s shear-thinned for your safety and dining pleasure. Read the whole article at NASA-Science, where the editors generally warm to their subject.
This - on the other hand - is porn.
May 12, 2008 at 11:29 am
It’s like my old grandma used to say to me, ‘Boy, if there’s one thing I say that you should never forget, let it be this: never - under any circumstances - trust a trilobyte. They’d eat you if they got the chance. Now do grandma a favour and fetch her her opium pipe.’ And although that diagram just looks like a load of coloured balls with a shit-load of lines connecting them, like some sort of demented, homosexual spider’s web, I’m pretty sure that it proves her right.
Now I kind of regret smothering the life out of her with her pillow. But you can’t dwell in the past, right?
May 12, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Oh! She was right! And I bet she’s looking down on you from On High right now, smiling at how wise you’ve become!
May 12, 2008 at 6:28 pm
What is amazing about this tasty treat is that it weighs 3/4 of a pound, but will cause a 5-pound weight gain just by slobbering over the image.
Good thing that only happens by slobbering over the image. If I ingested it…remember us discussing ‘liquid ass’ yesterday’….yeah, about 5 pounds worth.
May 12, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Oh, yes! The 5-lb weight gain is just until you void yourself.
Lately I’m wondering if I can just pack my entire G-I tract with concrete and be done with this ‘eating’ procedure.
May 12, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Even when I could eat them, I didn’t care for banana splits so much. Bananas are to be eaten by themselves or cut up to sweeten a bowl of Cheerios, not ice cream. Textures and taste just didn’t do it for me.
Nah…don’t be eating any concrete mix McGoo. Not sure wearing a bag or being hooked to an IV, would be better than the occasional squirts…unless you have crohns (sp?), in which case, anything would be welcome relief.
Though, I totally understand. Having to monitor every friggin thing you eat and realizing a large portion of the good stuff can no longer pass your lips, why bother. But then you get hungry. The cycle is vicious, it is.
May 12, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I beg to differ! Banana’s were created specifically to be sliced up into a bowl of Life Cereal.
It is their destiny!
But I can’t eat Life cereal anymore! Waaa!
Yeah - I apologize for my momentary lapse of positive outlook. I’m just getting tired of being cautious with farts, is what it is.
Ya see - as a bachelor, I *like* honking my horn, so-to-speak! It lets me know that everything is functioning normally and all is going according to Plan. I consider flatulence to be a kind of, “situation normal - all is well”, signal from my body.
When things are all fluid-like, I don’t dare blast it out my ass like I usually do.
Sorry for the vulgarity, but - well - there it is.
May 12, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Hmm…..’honking’. It’s a guy thing. Mr. Beans enjoys it immensely, though he tries not to do it so much when I’m around on account he doesn’t want to send me running or keel me dead. Heh, sometimes if he uses the restroom nearest the kid’s rooms in the morning, I’ll know he let one rip, when I hear “God DAD!” from one of them still trying to snooze and a giggle from the other.
Wet farts. Eww. I would imagine you could use incontinent pads for that. ;o)
May 12, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I love milkshakes. It’s been months if not a year since I had one. Oh, how I miss them.
May 13, 2008 at 6:05 am
Mu - be envious! Last week when I went down to S. MO, I went to DQ (not Dairy Queen - figure it out and win points!) and had an honest-to-God CHOCOLATE MALT! A mighty one - the biggest they served! With extra malt!
My blood sugar took 4-6 hours to recover, I had indigestion, and it was worth every minute of it.
PnB - ‘honking’ is definitely a guy thing. With most of us (me included) it’s something to be unashamedly enjoyed in private, or - at least - in the absence of ladies. Usually ladies are not amused. Usually, guys are.