Faux French Phrases To Sprinkle Into Your Prose!

Hello, boys and girls.

How many times have you been reading something and run across that phenomena where the author – in order to appear sophisticated and worldly, apparently – sprinkles his prose with phrases in French?

You know – like saying savoir faire – which means social comfort, skill, or cultural adeptness. Why couldn’t the author simply say, “social comfort, skill, or cultural adeptness” like I just did? Huh?

Or J’ai craqué. – which means I couldn’t resist.

Well – I can. Could. Did. But I’m not going to any longer.

Or Je m’en mords les doigts. – which means I could just kick myself!

Heh. I’m not gonna kick myself,because I just managed to use the above photo, which has been in my “use this” bin for weeks. And – no – it is not in France so far as I know.

So, here is McGoo’s private stash (so-to-speak) – his renvoyez où met dessus one’ ; testicules de s of hoity toity French phrases guaranteed to get you attention and respect in your writing. Unless, of course, one of your readers reads French.

1) Capacité de faire les visages drôles - really looks profound, doesn’t it? Well, it means “ability to make funny faces”. I actually used this in the last few weeks – and no one batted an eyelash! I giggled for long minutes.

2) Il y a un boa de plume vers le haut de mon passage arrière. A very handy phrase often used to see of a person really knows french, or is just a poseur. It means “I have a feather boa up my back passage!” I used this last year – in Japanese – to confound and confuse some online physicians somewhere in Japan.

3) Queest-ce que – voulez-vous que je saute par ma fente ? This means “What? Do you want me to jump through my crack?”

4) Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles. This translates directly into, “My hovercraft is full of eels”, and is a profoundly useful phrase in Paris, especially when delivered in a calm, measured manner.

The above are just a sampling of the fun you can have garnishing your immortal written words with faux-sophisticated phrasing. So – enjoy, and remember,

Скажите! То ваша сторона, или сэндвич с ветчиной?

And in keeping with our usual practices, Here’ s una certa pornografia, voi wanker!