Planetary BullSh*t Depletion A Fact! Science Settled!

I almost called this post, “Mormon Pituitary Glands: The Science Is Settled!”, but I decided that it might scare off readers.

We are running out of bullshit, boys and girls.

I became aware of this terrifying fact just yesterday, as I once again searched low and… well, lower … for amusing photos and assorted crap to entertain my two-three readers and the neighbors new calf.

Naturally this occurred over at Pravda – where the truth is artfully obfuscated and ribbed! for your reading pleasure – when I noticed that there had been no new bullshit articles posted over there in a long time.

Quickly jumping to conclusions, I cunningly deduced that my Pravda link was screwed up and was – perhaps – taking me to an archived version of the rag. Unfortunately – and once again – I was dead wrong.

So I went pie-hunting.

Here is a site that tells how to make a pumpkin pie from real pumpkins.

Now I happen to know that if they’d used those li’l metal rings that drop around the edge of the crust prior to baking, they wouldn’t get that burny edge on their pies. But I’m not about to spill that secret to anyone.

In other news, here is a site that tells you how to make your own wi-fi antenna booster. See? I have this one printed out full-size, but I’m too lazy to glue it onto a manila folder, cut it out, and fold it, and fit it on my Linksys wireless router.

- Anyway, I was noticing that all the (good) bullshit seemed to have disappeared. The more I searched, the more I noticed it was absent. And then it hit me:

The O’Boy administration and Congress have depleted it! In only a month! Wow!

Now, if you’ve read my famous paper, “Intelligence modeled as an objective natural resource, with special emphasis on sports-related spatial depletion.” you’d know that bullshit – like intelligence and knowledge – is a physical thing, much like mucus, but not as easy to flick off a finger. And, as a physical thing, it can be created or destroyed or manipulated – much like the aforementioned booger material.

So I decided to punt; i.e. if bullshit can be made up, then who else but me is more qualified to manufacture some primo ’shit for A&A? As soon as I get an answer to that question, I’ll take the next step.

I may have posted the above two cartoons before, but they stand to reason, and bear repeating.

Oh. Teeth!