I’m A Lumberjack – And I’m OK!

I got a call last night from my Aunt Hamsterpants – who informed me that she’d gotten a call from Paster Pooter of her local church group – saying they were having a DoucheBag Cemetery Work Day. This was a not-so-subtle hint to McGoo – being me – that I ought to go help since I liked doing that kind of shit. Additionally, I could take Uncle Orifice, who also likes getting outside and working up a sweat, especially when it’s someone elses.

I should mention that Aunt Hampsterpants is actually about my age and married my Uncle (on my Moms side) for his money or his 11-inch Schlong Of Curiosity or whatever – she is no blood relation. But she likes eating Chinese food, which is a redeeming characteristic, so far as I am concerned.

Uncle Orifice is a genuine Scupper-Scowl - my Mom’s maiden name from the Olde Country.

Anyway, we went to this (above) cemetery and worked for a few hours. Fortunately, no religious folks were there, as my Aunt knows I get hives and the sweats whenever a religious person comes near me.

It is here that G-Ma, and G-Da Scuper-Scowl are buried along with G-Ma and G-Da McGoo.

See below:

That is the final resting place of my paternal grandfather,  Cpt.  Joquestrappe Pudwanker McGoo, and his first wife Phlegm McGoo n’ee Scupper-Scowl.

By the way – see where the grass ends in the near background? Beyond that is private property – bought by the filthy rich guy who is building that $7 million dollar mansion in the background. It’s fucking huge, and has at least two lakes – yes, I said lakes – on the property. I think the total land area is over a square mile.

Anyway, here is the tree branch piles we did today!

Not too bad. There were more but we chipped them up into itty-bitty pieces and blew the pieces into the forest to the East.

Like this:

This lady did not help us at all:

Neither did this one. Rats:

But I want you to see something:

That is a field of wheat – just starting to grow. It’s gorgeous. Rice is even prettier – but none wandered by when I had the camera out.

It’s happening all over the place – this growing activity. I can’t get enough of it. I live in an enchanted realm. It’s so fucking beautiful here right now.

Turned 200,000 Visits Today! Yay!

Woot.

It has been one year and six months almost exactly (see here) since I first put finger to keyboard on this blog.

Thank you, everyone, for making it a pleasant endeavor for me!

BTW: the news got out earlier amongst the Japanese folks I’d been harassing about having a feather boa stuffed up my ass. Note the happiness with which they celebrate my blog hits count!

Even the Chicken People are celebrating!

And the elephants are crapping themselves with joy!

And even doctors and surgeons everywhere are getting into the mood!

Hell – even babes are smiling at me today!

Random Photos I have Swiped From Various Locations

Lets start with a painted lady. It’s not gonna get much better today, as the photo searches have been coming up with not a whole fuckuva lot.

I have a theory about that, but refuse to discuss it with anyone except my invisible friend.

I’ve had this photo of horseshoe crabs for about a month, I think. I was hoping to find a good use for it, but – no – Reality has simply chosen to not comply with my wishes. So fuck it.

Is the above Ayers Rock – in Australia? Someone from the Land Up Between please tell me.

Nope! It’s Half Dome, in Yosemite, according to Ken (who heroically fought the Indians, Zulus, and a medium-sized Space Twat to get here and tell me! Stout fellow!)

But anyway, I labeled the photo Ayers because it meant more to me than its original label – 8191.png or whatever.

Admittedly 8191 is a Mersenne Prime, but that hardly attracts the eye when glancing through a selection.

I have to assume these ladies are of age. Hear that, Feds?! That’s nice dentition.

Brave girl – that shot reveals implant lines – yes? Study it closely.

Nice wings.

Nice Stars of David. Woot.

The above one gave me fits, because I misspelled camouflage on the photo name.

And a final babe:

O’Bozo Continues To Marvel At Himself

When his apartment was finally cleaned out, the mystery of whatever happened to Bert was finally solved.

Fred began having serious doubts about this whole “roommate” concept when he met Mr. Cthulhuson – his new roomie.

Oh! Look! Did I post this photo before? Say “Thank you, Drew!”

Say it again, for good measure.

Orange-smugglers hawk their wares – keeping their eyes peeled, always vigilant for the Feds, who were constantly putting the squeeze on their profits.

Submarines have so much fun!

Words fail me.

Now my tongue has failed, too.

Nice teeth.

The Quicker-Fucker-Upper All Over The Map On Economy: Wall Street Raspberry Heard World-Wide!

This, boys and girls, is the fabled King of the Asshole Men of the Serengeti.

The A-M of the S are an obscure nomadic tribe consisting of various cast-outs and petty criminals too incompetent to commit a real crime – let alone get away with it – who wander from village to village, making fools out of themselves and causing all sorts of minor inconveniences to the inhabitants. Usually the villagers simply pay the a few pennies to go elsewhere, but occasionally their daughters are retained to fill the stands at local sporting events.

here are two asshole-ettes, working for tips:

Enough to make you consider giving up your cerebrum – yes?

What is this? I found this photo stuck behind my encyclopedias. I wonder who it is?

The new Yamaha’s are out! yay!

The new cars are out! Yay!

OK – its quiz time.

Below is a photo of a B-52 with a full load, otherwise known as World War III In A Box:

Now – who can spot the nukes? C’mon – you know you want to magnify this photo and look. So go ahead.

The above beauty is Queen Of The Snooch People as you no-doubt already knew.

I don’t know who this is. She just wandered in…

Bert! Bert? Get outa there!

The Randomness That Is Tuesday

Peering through the encompassing waves, Bert shivered, and once again wondered why he’d left Omaha.

I stole that photo because 2-3 different snarky lines popped into my noggin. But now they’re gone.

Plucking another kitten from her hair, Barbara swore,  and once again damned to everlasting Hell the handsome-but-careless beau who long ago infected her with the dreaded Catarrhea Simplex virus.

Fred, Barney, and Gomer all laughed in delight after comparing their respective adventures that day – and discovering they’d all crapped on the same fat lady sun-bathing on the western beach!

Is that a Maple leaf?

Nice model.

Reg sent me this teeth shot!

Still one more Jakki Degg above.

Where In The World Is Barbara Billingsly?

And a message from our sponser:

Now this photo below is worthy of your attention:

The one below just begs for a funny caption – but I’m coming up dry:

And this one below is nice too:

And here is a nice button:

And some Teeth: