Peering through the encompassing waves, Bert shivered, and once again wondered why he’d left Omaha.
I stole that photo because 2-3 different snarky lines popped into my noggin. But now they’re gone.
Plucking another kitten from her hair, Barbara swore, and once again damned to everlasting Hell the handsome-but-careless beau who long ago infected her with the dreaded Catarrhea Simplex virus.
Fred, Barney, and Gomer all laughed in delight after comparing their respective adventures that day – and discovering they’d all crapped on the same fat lady sun-bathing on the western beach!
Is that a Maple leaf?
Nice model.
Reg sent me this teeth shot!
Still one more Jakki Degg above.
March 24, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I don’t think that chastity belt the bandaid gal is wearing is gonna do much good. I do admire the concept, tho.
March 24, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’m thinking surgical gauze on the snooch is not the way to go. You don’t want people believing you have a broken snooch–they’ll be bugging you with home remedies forever. I happen to have one myself, but I think id rather try it with Jakki: Take johnson rod A and insert into slot B. Shake vigorously. Call ambulance. Repeat.
March 24, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Great post as always, Steamer!
Is the photographer back in Omaha with a telephoto Hubbel Lenz (thanks to you I’ll never spell that word right again), or is it taken by some kinda spiffy Asscam?
I think that Barbara is fascinating, do you think that she will have some black cuffs one of these days?
I stole the shoregull pic for my boat, It will hang with pride in the aft stateroom ( the little woman doesn’t like me to call it the after berth).
Gauze Girl could be in jeopardy too but I gotta wait until I’m sure she is 18.
The last JD pic, for some reason, makes me think that you might be holding back a dozen or so other pics of her…
March 24, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I’m really diggin’ this Jakki Degg chick. How come I’ve never heard of her til you started posting pics of her. Where’d you find her? Where’d she come from? Is she single?
March 24, 2009 at 3:41 pm
UncleS – its quite possible I have more Jakki D photos, but if I tell it’ll require conveying information that so far as I know, only I know for sure: but I’m not positive on that aspect. The future is foggy; ask again later. There is a disturbance in the Farce.
I think the Hubbel cam operator later ended up crammed up the surfers ass. Pity. Waste of a perfectly good camera.
Cbullitt – I was busily applying Typo-B-Gone (you were infested with ‘em! I think WP is fucking with us.) when I saw your line ” I happen to have one myself…” and stopped cold.
Gnus – I don’t know why she has that gauze. Kinda stupid, not that anyone asked me….and I think that belt is on backwards.
Whew. It took several readings for me to convince myself that you had A SOLUTION, not a snooch.
March 24, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Dalton – all worthy questions.
I found her through Drew458 over at BMEWS, and then googled a few more.
She is British and is 30 years old – if I recall correctly. I saw a little blurb about her somewhere on one of the Google results and read it – god knows why.
March 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm
WHEW!
I was blaming the miss placed “L’s” etc. and the ” I happen to have one…” stuff on the old ‘too many drugs when we was young’ problem.
thank goodness you were there to put me back on track. I feel better now, knowing that you are able ” to apply Typo-B-Gone to the affected areas as needed.”
March 24, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Nice model hell, damn thing’s just held together with tape…
March 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Yes the ambiguous antecedent–I was in a hurry trying to leave the office. I think my remedy though has possibilities.
I would have though Jakki German, she has a blitzkeig quality about her
March 24, 2009 at 5:27 pm
BTW, if anyone noticed missing pix on my site, they-mostly have been repaired. SOme spassfabriks though are replacements worthy I believe.
March 24, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Great minds think alike, cbullitt. I, too, thought Jakki was German or or further east.
Outstanding, Larry!
UncleS, glad I re-read.
I just finished watching Quantum of Solace. Is this the new Bond storyline; interweaving a continuous sub-story in each episode?
And how many times are we gonna watch Danial Craig do Parkur (or whatever its called) athletics for 15 fucking minutes straight?
And where were the gadgets? I saw no gadgets? And what happened to John Cleese – the New Q?
March 24, 2009 at 7:24 pm
TCM is showing a biography of Chuck Jones right now, one of his last interviews. very cool.
March 24, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Are you sure that’s gauze?
It looks like it could be mesh drywall tape.
March 24, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Daver – are you suggesting someone is going to spackle that poor girl?
Oy.
Cbullitt – I noted that the NOVA episode was on Anthropo-assinine Gorbull Warming and arctic ice meltification crap, so I didn’t watch it.
March 24, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Chuck Jones–bugs, elmer, et al–is the antidote to all bullshitification–especially the SCIENCE kind.
March 24, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Why the hell is the teeth pic I sent so small? Do you need me to resend?
March 24, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Reg – that’s the way I got it. Let me go check: No! I saved the friggin’ icon instead of the photo!
I’ll fix it now – and then cringe in embarrassment.
Is Chuck Jones he who does those voices, cbullitt?
March 24, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Oh, yeah. that’s better…
March 24, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Ah, you embiggened the teeth. very good. My new one should generate some discussion.
March 25, 2009 at 4:06 am
Discussion – yes – but not from me. I don’t do sports. Hate ‘em. I have no use for them whatsoever. Um…sorry. Is pussy spelled with an “ie”?
I’ve often remarked that – on the whole – I’d just as soon see them demolish all the sports stadiums and playing fields and golf courses and plant crops on the land.
Yep. I saved the fucking little ICON for the teeth photo, rather than the photo itself. Duh.
March 25, 2009 at 4:26 am
I spelled it that way on purpose, thinking i’d avoid overly pruish porn filters–then again–I might get more hits the other way. OK, I’ll change it.
March 25, 2009 at 4:31 am
Done. Now maybe I’ll get some of those puzzling net search hits you get.
I have another post that’s more up your alley in the works, was actually editing it when I heard the Brady stuff. I’ll have it up ths afternoon, maybe.
March 25, 2009 at 4:33 am
No! Don’t change it. I was just worried it was a typo.
I hope I’m not coming off as snippy this morning. Not. Just tired…
March 25, 2009 at 4:35 am
It takes time, cbullitt.
March 25, 2009 at 5:55 am
I just drove to Micky-D’s for some breakfast carbohydrates I don’t need and will seriously regret later.
Outstanding fog! Had two (or was it three?) of ‘em last week! The lady at M-Ds was waiting for me: she simply GUSHED about the outstanding fog we have today: wouldn’t shut up and take my order!
She likes fog, too! We talk about it.
Real English pea-soupers. Couldn’t see my dick outa my zipper! Love it!
I need to get my lasers back out again. At least I found all of ‘em now. I’d misplaced a few. Except I can’t find that friggin’ blue one I got last year just before I packed and moved! Shit!
But it’s just the laser diode – I need to swap out a bad IR diode for it in one of my diode-pumped SS units. I wonder if it’ll x2 pump the freq like it does for the IR? Heh! I wish. A far-UV laser! Woot.
March 25, 2009 at 7:47 am
Why don’t you step it up to graser-level power. Then you just set fire to stuff. And even in can’t-see-my-dick fog, you could see things at a distance just fine.
March 25, 2009 at 9:25 am
Whats graser-level? Gas laser?
March 25, 2009 at 10:41 am
Gamma-Ray Laser
March 25, 2009 at 11:07 am
Oh.
OH!
Don’t I feel like an ass.
Yeah! That’s what I want!
Is that a Gamer term, or am I just out-of-date? Or both?
Wait! Forget I asked that. I want to preserve what’s left of my shredded pride.
March 25, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Hey McGoo, Dalton’s been holding out–he’s holding a Space Twat captive in a bathtub over at his place. Take a look.
March 25, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Y’all get thick fogs down there McGoo? LUCKY! We don’t get fogs in Vegas alas.
My computer woes continue. I took it in to the store and left it there for a couple days and they couldn’t find anything wrong so I took it back home. Last night I had two more Blue Screens o’Death but I was able to get pictures of them so I could tell them the error codes. I called them up today and the guy said that one of them was because someone was trying to hack into my system! What the hell is the world coming to? I blame D’ohbama.
March 25, 2009 at 3:51 pm
So… Here’s what ya gets with a masters in public speaking at UF. Gradulations, and the same to yer corch too.
No wonder we’re in the shit.
(Found at American Digest)
March 25, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Sure, Gnus. UF has degrees in Ebonics. Anything else would be RACIST!!!!! Eleventy!!!!
March 25, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Gnus, cbullitt – that woman is an embarrassment to the US people, the entire Congress, her state, and her race.
And she dresses for shit, too….
Enas – that sucks! Are you sure it isn’t one of those fault-pointer virii that cause a lock-up so it can take advantage of a reboot?
Speaking of that shit, I managed to get onto a site that tried to faux-update my Java stuff. But Norton had serious hissy-fits and kicked it out posthaste.
Heh. When I lived up in St. Charles, I used to get a war-driver come by occasionally because I ran an open wireless net. I’d sit there at the monitor and watch him hackity-whackity away – knocking his head uselessly against the firewall.
Fogs? Oh, fuck yes! Enas, I’ve experienced the best fogs of my life here. No, wait. that didn’t come out right. The best fogs I ever saw were here in … no, that doesn’t work either.
There’re really neat fogs here! Best in my life!
My green 50mW laser looks like a solid glowing green bar of metal in the fog here. It’s stunning. Scares the shit out of rabbits, too.
March 25, 2009 at 6:32 pm
“Hey McGoo, Dalton’s been holding out–he’s holding a Space Twat captive in a bathtub over at his place. Take a look.” — And we’re keeping her too. Right there in that bathtub is where she’ll remain. She seems to be enjoying it.
March 25, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Dalton! Don’t you know keeping an unlicensed Space Twat in a tub without a harpsichord nearby is a misdemeanor! You could be junk-smacked and then fined!
That’s a nice one! Wet, too. The water washes off their contact-poison.
March 25, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Way off topic, I bring you a story so stupid, you know it must be true:
As the oldest first year medical student in the known universe, I am surrounded by classmates who are all in their early 20’s. As such, they all live in apartments or rental houses. A friend of mine, who we will call Biff, is 23, and rents a house with 2 other first-years, Dopey and Hippy.
Dopey and Hippy are both flamingly liberal. Dopey once called me a Fascist for the crime of holding a conservative opinion about something. This was in lieu of debating me on the topic.
Anyway…with the string of local off-campus robberies we’ve had lately, Biff decided to purchase a gun. His house-mates obviously both went through the roof. But, after realizing that Biff was resolute in his decision, they insisted that (1) the gun must be unloaded at all times in their house, (2) Biff would not be allowed to keep ammunition in the house, and (3) they wanted Biff to SIGN A FUCKING STATEMENT giving them both permission to conduct searches of his room, car, and person at any time to ensure compliance.
But remember, I’m the Fascist.
March 25, 2009 at 8:02 pm
harbqll – that is disgusting.
Things to discuss with Biff (alone):
A) Lessons learned. Don’t try to reason with Libtards. It is not possible.
B) “Libs who know least, whine least.” Next time, don’t bother to tell them about the weapon.
C) Ask Biff what good a permanently empty weapon is gonna do him?
D) Biff needs to recognize and acknowledge that he has no intention of complying with the idiotic requirements. What will be the consequences of his breach of faith? Loss of two “friends”. So? Time to Man Up and learn a lesson in life: promises kept to people who command no respect – and who don’t respect you – are wasted. Next time, don’t make them.
March 25, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Fear not, already handled. I considered it my ordained duty to have The Talk with the lad. Hippy and Dippy were told to swivel on it. This weekend, Biff and I are going shopping.
When he laid this story on me after lab today I damn near threw a rod. Laughing, that is. It was so absurd I couldn’t even get angry.
Most of these kids are having room-mate trouble of one kind or another. They all agreed to move in together via email last summer, once we all had acceptance letters in hand. Most of them never met face-to-face before moving in.
March 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Give the young man good weapons guidance, harbqll!
It took me decades to really learn that some people are not my friends, never will be, will violate every point of morality and integrity and honesty I was ever taught, and will laugh in my face when confronted with it.
Usually, they were of the Liberal persuasion.
Now I civil to them; but I will not volunteer so much as the time of day to them.
March 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm
True. Last semester one of those guys was expounding to me over lunch about how diet soda should be banned by law. His reasoning was that as it takes a lot more energy to produce than it delivers in food energy, it obviously contributes to global warming.
My reply was “So, you want to ban an item for excelling at what it was designed to do.”
All that got me was the confused puppydog look.
I know that most of them are just suffering from an acute case of youth. When I was 23, I was a libtard, too. Most of them are sure to get over it, especially after pulling some ER time and getting to see what the world is really like.
March 25, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Yep. The trend as people age is towards conservatism, and towards the recognition of objective reality. After you live long enough, reality has been rubbed into your face too many times to ignore it.