This, boys and girls, is my mushroom! There are many like it, but this one is mine! My yard grew it without my permission – but that’s OK.
And this is my corn crop! Soon, my pretty! Soon!
And – finally – this is my Castor bean plant. My favorite one was growing in the middle of the gravel driveway – but I mowed it…er….as, um…an experiment. Yeah. That’s right. I remember that now.
BTW: if these photos are a bit blurry, it’s because my camera lens kept blurring up from humidity condensing on the lens. That’s because the camera was house-interior temperature instead of house-outside temperature.
Here are some planted crops in the neighborhood! (I can’t believe I’m doing this. And enjoying the shit out of it, too!)
This is winter wheat – I think – that’s ready to harvest, if the rain will stop long enough for it to dry thoroughly.
This above is – you guessed it! – poppy plants! No, wait! That’s corn! Ah! But what kind, he wonders, yes he wonders – but not for long. Does the tricksy reader know what kind? We does, yes we does!
Mo’ co’n!
This is either cotton or soybeans. Cotton, I think. Or sumpin else. But it is definitely not Napoleon Brandy.
That’s corn back there.
This above is rice – my favorite. Even this photo really doesn’t perfectly capture the greenness and uniformity of the shit. It’s gorgeous.
More rice. Rice – is nice! Hee. I made a funny.
This is a burned-off field. I saw them do this last Sunday. The smoke could be seen for miles! It made my heart swell with pride and pleasure to see all that carbon dioxide returned to the atmosphere where it belongs! Only in America!
Yes, boys and girls, its’ interesting to live out here in the Sticks and watch the farmers do their thing.
June 17, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Rice fields are kinda pretty. Even if I do get the sudden urge to gun down people wearing black pajamas.
June 17, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Man, that cotton row is straight as a string!
Used to be nearly impossible* to plant a row that long, that straight. Ain’t GPS wonderful?
*20 years ago for me.
June 17, 2009 at 3:38 pm
xbrad – I wish I could convey the GREENNESS of those friggin’ rice fields. To me, a rice field defines green. They almost glow….
But you’ll never see anyone wearing black pajamas and a rice hat here. Too many vets live out here.
I was just thinkin’ that, rannok! The planter machines are really high-tech now. The rows are so straight and uniform it can make a person dizzy looking down the rows.
…And you do know they laser-level the rice fields to within a fraction of an inch so that the irrigation water distributes itself perfectly uniformly, don’t you? I thought so. How long did you farm, rannok?
June 17, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I’m a bit embarrassed to admit I can’t tell the young soybeans from the young cotton.
Ya know – every time I see cotton, – every time! – I cannot help but think to myself (who else would I think it to?) that, “I wish Cotton was a monkey.”
Now if any of you readers can identify where that line came from, I’ll be stunned beyond belief. It’s OLD.
June 17, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I know…it’s lambis.
June 17, 2009 at 4:05 pm
…as in the sea shell?
June 17, 2009 at 4:31 pm
As in “the fat hobbit ates it, we doesn’t likes it. It Buns!!!
June 17, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Hot Damn!!
Freeborrowed corn. It’s best when from the midnight market.June 17, 2009 at 5:17 pm
cb – oh! Lembas! Elvish waybread! Yummy! Well, duh! I didn’t connect…
Gnus – that reminds me of a funny one! If you go to any of these cornfields I’ve shown and grab an armload of corn, the farmers will probably ignore you.
Why – you ask?
Because the farmers will think about you – sneaking home with your stolen corn – and they will smile contentedly.
And why will they smile, you ask?
Because that corn is field corn, sometimes called feed- or cattle-corn, and you can boil it for hours but it will not grow tender and succulent. It’s basically inedible by humans. Useless, in other words, unless you have a pet deer.
What you want is sweet corn, a different type entirely. There’s a way to tell which kind is which, but I’m not allowed to tell anyone!
June 17, 2009 at 6:25 pm
If that’s a problem, McGoo, you’re borrowing it from the wrong place.
June 17, 2009 at 7:15 pm
That’s feed corn, we call it pheasant corn here because the fields in the fall make great pheasant hunting grounds.
June 17, 2009 at 7:41 pm
If you pick field corn when the ears are no more than 4-5″ long, it’s really quite good. Raw, even. It does taste like sweet corn.
I remember cutting across huge fields of corn in the early summer when I was a tad, walking down the row sweating and getting thirsty. Just shuck an ear and gobble. Goooood.
Compare a soybean/wheat harvester to a corn harvester, and you’ll see why that’s a field of cotton, Mcgoo. The cotton/corn harvesters share simular harvesting heads, i.e cone shaped vs the soybean/wheat heads which are those paddlewheel thingies. Rows vs er…a mess, I guess. One cuts rows, the other cuts the lawn.
June 17, 2009 at 7:52 pm
And you know what? I’ve never seen an actual rice field.
Oh, I forgot, McGoo. I last farmed in the early 80’s.
June 17, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Yeesh!!!! Every time I open this page, I lose my MLB.com Media player.
I’m trying to watch the Tigers and the Cards.
Crap!
June 18, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Are you sure that’s a mushroom and not a toadstool?
June 18, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Janus – How does one distinguish them apart?