Christmas Beast, And The Continued-Fraction Expansion Of Ratioed Polynomials

These are some (ten, by my count) of the wild turkeys that are manifesting themselves regularly at my place. I figure I can eat one or two this winter if only I can get someone to stalk, kill, clean, and cook the things for me. No small task, I can tell you….

I took this photo because last week there were over thirty(!) of the things out there but they ran away before I could fetch my camera from the house and no one believed me and I was soooo indifferent because I know what I saw.

I could tell you that there were a few (just two-three of ‘em) off to the right that were hidden by a tree and a pile of limbs (tree – not human), but you probably wouldn’t believe me. Well, someday you’ll be sorry. Pbbbt!

Short-arm inspection ___ FAIL.

Bert sensed that something was up as soon as they invited him along – but he just couldn’t quite put his finger on what made him suspicious…

Scanning, Prodding, Snooping, Just-Plain-Nosy Microscope Images Liberal Brain Tumor That Killed Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy!

By Circe! It’s time for some Science!

This – boys and girls – is an actual, no-fucking-shit, real pentacene molecule, about which you’ve heard me mention nothing whatsoever prior to this very moment! They’re thinking about calling it, “Mary Jo”.

The reason I have not deigned to discuss it with you-all learned folks is because no one (except me, once, long ago) has ever seen one before! Harrumph!

Here’s what it looks like in the imagination of molecular chemists – and other folks who delve into the subtle mysteries of drugs:

My cousin Bert says those are five carbon rings (22 atoms) surrounded by fourteen li’l ol’ hydrogen atoms! But Bert is a known fuckup and pathological liar.

but those cunning folks over at IBM Research Zurich – in an eternal effort to get ever-higher and higher on Science! have once again pushed back the foreskin of science and spread Mother Natures labia to reveal this precious tidbit of arcana!

Who but they could do such a thing?

The whole thing is writ large (for you-all who read slow and big) here in the UK Daily Mail – where Rule Britannia isn’t just some trite phrase!

Below is the principle Investigator – Professor Pethpa Coypu, HardBone professor of Erstwhile Mathematics at the Zurich Institute of Ennui Studies – with his Significant Other, Pucker:

“We were kinda hoping for something a bit more – well, you know, erotic – in the micro photograph”, said Prof. Coypu. “That thing kinda sucks!”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet:

Jets swerved in their flight paths as she bared her all for the cameras!

I’m thinking I posted this photo once before. I’m also thinking, “So what?”

Bert could now confirm that the rumors about Helen Thomas’ bathing habits were all too true.

Norwegian Cruise Lines new travel tour – “Strata Of The World” was a stunning hit among geologists world-wide!

As soon as I remember why I posted this photo you’ll be the first to know!

Ditto this one.

I forgot: Am I into “stripes”?

Bert instantly deduced two things from this sudden development: That he would be going home early today, and he would not be needing his usual after-work shower.

In Case I’m Not Back Yet

Here’s some front.

Cheerfully stolen from The Hostages

Chappaquiddick: On Dead Meat And Dickheads

Image h/T: TonyF viaVilmar’s

I notice it didn’t take long for the Libs to use Teddy’s death to garner political leverage.

OK.

Likewise, I notice that it didn’t take long for the usually-more-restrained ‘Cons to take off the silken gloves and splatter all the Ted dirt around (and – Christ! – is there tons of it!). Seems everyone (self included) has felt long-term festering moral disgust at this rich murdering asshole’s glide through life above the wad.

Fuck the jerk. He’s dead and I’m not and that’s good. Overdue, even.

And that about sums it up.

The Post With No Name

Expertly disguised, the Space Twat moved invisibly through the BlizzCon throng – her presence apparently completely undetected by the crowd of techno-geeks.

I don’t have anything to say at this time, but I’m not gonna let that stop me from posting. By the way, all the photos I’m gonna post here are swiped from Break.com – for all your Space Twat needs.

The shot above simply begged to be swiped and captioned. But I can’t think of one that quite does it justice. I mean – notice the boat numbers (the guy actually licensed it?) and the outboard motor back there! I bet that boat planes up on the water with the grace of a flatulent aardvark.

Jui-Poit - bush-hunter 3rd class and assistant blood-letter – has mere seconds to regret tracking the Abominable Bush Bugger and its 12-inch Moving Violation.

Bert really hated suffering from the occasional bout of Grand Mal Flatulence.

And now, for a reminder:

In today’s political climate, it’s best to review the basics – wouldn’t you agree folks?

Yes … I’m A Heartless Prick! Why Do You Ask?

…Lest we forget the recently dirt-nap-readied Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy’s true legacy.

I remember when National Lampoon ran this ad!

… except … I remember a different floating VW photo. Maybe I’m remembering the real deal rather than the NL parody.

… Anyway, he’s dead, and that settles that.

Tracing Gnus Last Known Whereabouts – And The Heartbreak Of Periodontal Disease In Epileptic Freshwater Clams

I’m gettin’ worried about Gnus.

As you can see above, the authorities found his spacecraft car in Chicago – double-parked, of course. But witnesses say it’s been there at least since last Friday.

But his regular ride was still at his home – untouched, except for the fact that the machine-guns were empty and the phased plasma weaponry was totally depleted of charge.

The manager at his bank was uncooperative in assisting the officers with their inquiries – even after being beaten speechless.

The authorities even called in the famous Lebanese Two-Legged Seeing-Nose Dogs to track him!

So – as can be seen above – I took the law into my own hands and sic’ed Big Brahma and his 18-inch Man-O-War on a ranch hand that looked at me funny. Boy! could he squeal! He’ll wear Depends and walk with a distinct limp for months after his little session.

I even checked out sea accidents – thinking they might be Gnus’ idea of a really funny prank!

Closer to home, we found a squid  and a bottle of  Gatorade in his company parking place. We’re still pondering the meaning of it all.

Finally, I posted the above simply because I’d used up all the other random photos in my WordPress file! Yay!