Aardvarks & Asshats - The Rebirth

Dear SOPA

Edward von Bear — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:07:32 +0000

Fuck you. Furyfuck you with a fuckaddled fuckentaur wearing the fetid fuckchapeau of freedom while getting facecocked from the other end. Fuck you for attempting to fix a problem by punishing all of us. Fuck you for nannystating on my life. And fuck you in general because I fucking wanted to say so, and fuck you for trying to let the camel’s nose into the tent on how I can do it.

Get fucked. Burn in the hell reserved for restrictions on our lives. And never come back.
Oh, and here is a visual depiction of how I feel.

“If You Come to a Fork In the Road, Take it.”

Edward von Bear — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:52:41 +0000

In life, sometimes we are faced with difficult choices that can test our core beliefs while also having a great impact on our world and our lives. I believe the (probably) inevitable Romney nomination is one such choice. So, given what is at stake, is there a point where we say, “fuck it”, do nothing but vote for Mittens (no volunteering, no money, no Jen Rubin-like blogging, etc), and devote our energy to working on building up a Senate majority that can block Obama or Romney, maintaining a House majority, expanding on Statehouse Majorities and Governorships (where our bench strength really is developed), and fighting for people such as Scott Walker in his recall fight?

That, or we can choose to become a network of recipe blogs. Just a thought.

Slippery Slope and Whatnot

Edward von Bear — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 04:57:58 +0000

Could you imagine the bullshit that would be unleashed if attempts to use the court to force bloggers to out themselves?

Fuck that shit. Furyfuck it anonymously with the Founding Fathers’ fecund fuckstick of freedom. Fuck it for trying to use the courts to inflict harm on a person because of a disagreement. Fuck it for fucking over traditions that go back to the Revolution where anonymous posters and pamphleteers spread their ideas. And fuck it because the thought of how low lefties will stoop never ceases to amaze me.

We Have Lost Another of the Greatest Generation

Edward von Bear — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:45:57 +0000

Sadly, Cheetah the Chimp has passed away.

Cheetah, the most famous of the sanctuary’s 15 chimpanzees, liked to see people laugh.

“He was very compassionate,” Cobb said. “He could tell if I was having a good day or a bad day. He was always trying to get me to laugh if he thought I was having a bad day. He was very in tune to human feelings.”

Ron Priest, a sanctuary volunteer for seven years, said Cheetah stood out because of his ability to stand up – shoulders tall, back straight – and walk like a person.

Cheetah also stood out for another reason, Priest said: “When he didn’t like somebody or something that was going on, he would pick up some poop and throw it at them. He could get you at 30 feet with bars in between.”

Add to those feats his ability to fight the Nazis, and we truly have lost a great one.

The Glories of the Welfare State Revealed

Edward von Bear — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 05:03:57 +0000

Edward von Bear — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:35:51 +0000

Ugh. Is this medicine we should be taking?

Nominating Mitt Romney is sort of like taking Grandma’s castor oil. Republicans are dreading the thought of downing their unpleasant-tasting medicine but worry that sooner or later they will have to.

I ask you: now that the choices seem to be Castor Oil (hell of an endorsement there!) or Gingrich, is drinking heavily the best choice at the moment?

An Open Letter to the MSM

Edward von Bear — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 06:04:51 +0000

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you until you feel simultaneous shame and a lice ringed exploded fuckhole from the scabies soaked reality you try to mold in favor of your Occupy Crowd. Fuck you for not reporting on a sex crime for ten days, probably because it involved your fellow political travelers. Fuck you for either being incompetent and missing this crime for ten days, or malicious in your attempts to spike it. Fuck you for joining Penn State and the US Catholic Bishops in running cover for sex criminals by not reporting this story immediately. And fuck you, simply because your malicious incmpetence needs to be called out and exposed.

Occupy DC Scum Treat Old Ladies Like They Do Soap

Edward von Bear — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:46:26 +0000

Thanks to Stephen G.

Oh, and zipperfuck with a carwash hose the OWS scum up their stinky, lice riddled fuckorifices for what they did, what they do, and what they want to do.

Remember When The TeaParty Was A Rape-y?

Edward von Bear — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:12:39 +0000

I guess this is what Sheriff Joe was warning us about.

Yeah, fuck you, lefties. Fuck your stupidity until it asssumes sentience for imputing upon us what you do every day. Go to hell, and face the revenge fuckmonster along the way for what you are doing.

Where Can I Buy A “Rangers 2011 World Series Champs” Shirt?

Edward von Bear — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:43:03 +0000

Ummm…nowhere in the civilized world.

That Shit Never Gets Old. And Neither Does This:

But, take heart, Dallas. When this guy is working for you, grand times are ahead:

Sad Romo Is Sad